How to Help a Loved One who is Struggling with Anxiety: Dos and Don’ts

Although it is normal to feel worried or stressed, for some, these feelings are persistent and overwhelming. They struggle to pay attention to anything else, often zeroing in on the worst-case scenario. This may be due to an anxiety disorder.

If you weren’t living through it, some of the symptoms might be questionable. Someone with generalized worry might feel sure they will fail at a job they have done successfully in the past. Many people with social fears might replay an awkward social interaction over and over again, even an encounter with a stranger.

This can cause confusion about how to support them. You might want to tell them to “just move on” or that it’s “really not a big deal.” While well-intentioned, this can feel dismissive and invalidating.

It’s important to know how to really help a loved one who is suffering from paralyzing worry. Knowing what not to do is just as important.

In this article, we’ll discuss the dos and don’ts of supporting someone dealing with chronic worry and stress.

What It Means to Have Chronic Anxiety

Before we get into specific measures, we have to realize just what prolonged worry is. As was stated before, feeling nervous every once in a while is a normal part of living. But if distress becomes persistent, excessive in relation to any real danger, and disrupts day-to-day functioning, that could be a sign of an anxiety disorder. (Know the right treatment for Anxiety here.)

As an illustration, many individuals experience nervousness before a work deadline. For someone in this ongoing state of distress, though, that sensation persists even when actual pressure is absent. It can also lead to physical symptoms like nausea and sweating. Worries spiral, and it’s hard to concentrate and even leading to avoidance of necessary tasks.

With this in mind, here are some suggestions on how we can provide tangible support.

Do: Listen to their concerns

When someone is feeling overwhelmed, talking about it might alleviate some of the pressure. This applies whether they feel occasional worry or a more chronic battle. You can’t make their distress disappear, but listening can help ease it, reassuring them that they are not alone.

Don’t: Interrupt or debate

It may be tempting to immediately comfort them or explain what they’re worried about is not necessary. Maybe you have a simple answer or perhaps their anxiety will never come to fruition. Unfortunately, conquering ingrained anxiety is not so straightforward.

When someone is overwhelmed, logic isn’t a shortcut to a quick-fix solution. They already know that their reaction might not be proportionate, and they might even value themselves badly for it. Whereas therapy is often useful in helping individuals challenge these thoughts, it needs to be a structured technique to work.

What your loved one needs most is to be understood and validated. One of the worst things you can do is interrupt or argue with their concerns because that will just make them feel ignored or dismissed.

Do: Validate their feelings

Instead of digging into the reasons their concerns may be irrational, it’s beneficial to validate their feelings. This doesn’t mean you need to agree with their fears, but you can validate their experience.

Rather than saying to this person, “That’s nothing to worry about,” for instance, try this: “I see that this is really upsetting for you. I’m here for you.” This distinction allows them to feel seen without validating anxious thoughts.

By scaling back self-judgment, they can begin to view their distress as the challenge — not themselves.

Don’t: Enable destructive behaviors

The balance is the key to life. It’s important to validate feelings, but we need to make sure we don’t reinforce avoidance behavior.” If a loved one is avoiding certain situations out of fear, for example, if the person is avoiding certain situations due to fear, simply telling them it’s okay to skip them may make the habit more ingrained.

But at the same time, overstepping can backfire. Avoid being direct, don’t use language that encourages the person to avoid the situation, rather than you should try and support them.

Do: Encourage them to seek professional help

There is one response you can and should be promoting: getting professional support. Anxiety disorders usually do not go away on their own. They need assistance from trained professionals, such as therapists or mental health specialists.

You can’t make this decision for them, but you can encourage. The truth is, even by acknowledging their experience, you’re helping set them up to consider speaking to someone. When people feel heard and understood, they are more likely to see professional support for overcoming difficulties as an option worth seriously considering.

Conclusion

It can be difficult supporting a loved one through such ongoing anxiety and distress. If you occasionally have trouble finding the right words, don’t be too hard on yourself — it’s a complex problem that can take professional assistance to work through.” But by practicing the dos and don’ts listed above, you can provide reassurance, validation and gentle encouragement toward getting the help they need.